


Kids Can Be Cruel

by Assumare



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bullying, Cutting, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:29:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assumare/pseuds/Assumare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're about to meet your best friend for the first time, and you're freaking the fuck out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kids Can Be Cruel

You clench and unclench your jaw with the nerves you'll never admit to having to anyone, including yourself.

You can feel Bro glancing down at you from where he stands. You ignore him though, hoping he'll understand enough to leave you alone.

You're about to meet your best friend for the first time, and you're _freaking the **fuck** out. _

John can be as much of a prick as you sometimes, sure. And he's a huge dork who likes dumb movies and to play pranks on people. Yet, he's loveable enough so that people actually like to talk to him, and he's able to talk to them back. 

But you? No.

You like to play it off, especially to your internet friends, that you're extremely cool (which for the record, you are) and that you've got an extremely busy social life. 

Bro was never very social. He never left the apartment much when you were younger, and even now although he's gone for long periods of time, you suspect he spends most of his away time in a hotel room working on his computer with those creepy ass smuppets.

Bro never being social essentially meant that you never learned to be social either. 

Which wasn't a bad thing, at least until middle school.

Middle school is hell for all, everyone knows that. But for you, that's when it all started. The insults, the bullying. The hours spent in the principle's office, the nights spent in your bathroom with blood running down your forearms and legs into the bathtub. Your life spiraled out of control. 

You don't know where you'd be without John.

"Flight 29, now arriving."

Finally.

Your eyes are wide, your heart is beating hard and fast. You feel like you just had a strife with your brother, not like you're waiting to finally see that dork's buck-toothed grin and his equally dorky glasses in person for the first time.

"Where the fuck is he?" You're talking to yourself, which is a lot more common than you'd care to admit.

"Yo, dude. Calm down. You'll have plenty of time to make his ass yours once he gets here. Chill."

"Fuck you."

Your fidgeting is interrupted by the elbow jab you make towards Bro's stomach. You miss and are immediately assaulted by his hand pinching your neck in the way that he knows you hate. You retaliate by turning and smacking him, causing him to smack you back, and a full on sibling-war breaks out among the two of you in the middle of the airport. It's not even until after he swats your ass and points, snickering, that you notice the brown mop of hair in the crowd of the exiting passengers that looks like John's and stop.

You’re still, all the desire to finally meet him rushing out of you. You might even say you feel a little sick, if that weren't totally uncool of you.

Fuck. What if- What if he finds out what a fucking loser I am? What if we don't have anything to talk about now that we're face to face? What if I make this whole thing so awkward that I just ruin it?

It's not just your thoughts that keep you from calling out to him. You're not even really sure if that is him, really.

He turns and you see his face and yep that's totally him. He looks lost and more than a little confused, and god fucking damn it there goes your heart again.

You open your mouth in an attempt to shout his name (although your ability to do so is a little doubtful) when he sees you and your brother standing side by side. He squints when he sees you, probably making sure it's actually you, and you stick your hand in the air to wave at him. Wow that was so fucking lame. John doesn't care though, of course. He waves back and hurries over to you as fast as he can dodge the crowd, lugging his shit behind.

Then he's there, he's right there, right fucking in front of you. 

You look at each other for a moment before you rush at him and do some half-assed fist-bump maneuver that he doesn't understand before embracing him, and he, you. Bro stands behind the two of you and off to the side, watching with what you might call a smile if it weren’t for the impossibly cool facade he maintains. 

Everything feels so... _Right._

That saying is so cliche that it's beyond the help of irony, and you know it and cringe when you think it, but there's nothing else to be said about the moment. 

You're just so comfortable in his arms, you feel safe and completely cared about for once in your life. You feel this way whenever you talk to him, but you never could have imagined just how strong that feeling would be in person.

God, I’m being so fucking sappy, this is ridiculous. Good thing there’s no possible way to read minds. Unless you’re a Lalonde. _Fuck._

Shit’s hella embarrassing.

You both have to pull away eventually, and it feels like it's much too soon. You vow to yourself to make up another excuse to get another hug like that one from him as soon as possible.

"So dude, long time no see."

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

He laughs, and you file the sound away in your memory bank. It's a million times better in person than over a crappy internet connection.

"Can you even see me with those lame sunglasses on? Oh man, you actually do wear them everywhere."

"Watch it Egbert, these are the 'lame sunglasses' that you got me, dude."

"You actually do use air quotes?! Oh wow, wait until I tell Rose and Jade about this."

You're flushing red, but you excuse it with your supreme coolness and pass off the air quotes that you use as irony.

"Yo, the girls are gonna be here in a few days anyways, and they'll probably see it for themselves." 

You shrug and try to smother the smile that keeps working its way onto your lips as you keep thinking about how he's actually and really here and you're actually really talking to him.

He talks rather animatedly at you on the way back to your apartment, which you're totally fine with. You suspect he's babbling so much out of nervousness, but the talking is better than the awkward silence you would bring into the conversation-or rather, the lack thereof.

His voice sounds only slightly different in person than on the phone or over webcam. It's still got that bubbly, nearly childish quality about it that you've gotten accustomed to. Like he's on the verge of laughing, even when he's upset. The only time it's not like this is when he's trying to be deadpan, or he's emotionally out of it. You kind of (really) love how expressive it is. It's just very... him.

You arrive at your apartment building and the two of you are quick to be left alone, Bro bolting up to your apartment after shooting you a smirk. It's not long after you realize that you're going to have to help John haul his ridiculous amount of shit up the stairs to your apartment, which is on the top floor. 

Fuck.

John doesn't even think to ask about the elevator until you're already half way up.

"It's broken. The manager's too cheap to call someone to repair it, which means that when Jade and Rose get here, we're going to have to haul more heavy ass shit up the stairs then too."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Shit."

You swear to god that one of the suitcases is filled with just movies and video games. He swears that he only brought so many because he "didn't know what you guys had" but that's bullshit and you both know it. Not only was the Strider Collection of Movies and Games (shut up that's a thing) complete with the best movies ever and so many games that if the shelving fell on a cat the cat would be so dead (what the hell Dave), but you also have Netflix. More like he just couldn't handle being away from his movies for so long.

You tell him so and he punches you in the shoulder.

It feels kinda (really) great.

The two of you finish lugging the suitcases up to the top of the stairs after what seems like several hours. Your arms feel like lead.

Inside your apartment at last, you give John a full tour of the house, even though he's already seen it by webcam. Bro is locked up in his room. He probably won't come out for a few days. Unless he decides to bother (embarrass) you, which is just as likely.

You put a pizza in the oven and drop some sick beats with equally sick raps with the turntable in your room. You know John couldn't really give any less of a fuck about your raps but you also know your music doesn't completely irritate him, so you perform for him anyways.

By the time you finally pop a neutral movie in, you've both got cheese in your hair, he's attempted three pranks (and only two of which you're admitting actually worked), and Bro's already embarrassed you once -let's just say he walked in on an awkward moment while you were having you food fight. And one of you may or may not have had the other pinned beneath him.

You also manage to have a far-too-short video chat with Rose and Jade, who are still at home and will be joining you in a few days.

When John leaves for a moment to go get more pizza or something, Rose and Jade get that look on their faces. That I already know what's going on but you need to tell me anyways AKA the Look of Evil AKA the girls are scheming something and I don't like it. 

They pounce.

"So when are you going to tell John how you feel?"

Jade's excited, looking eerily similar to a happy dog with a tail wagging behind.

"Gross Jade. Me and him are bros."

"Well it seems as though your relationship is fairly... different in person. Does it not?"

"Rose, holy shit. No, I just-"

You're turning a completely uncool shade of red, which is going against the Strider Handbook, rule #43.

John comes back, effectively ending the conversation and the two of you finish up the chat with the girls and set up some of John’s shit in the living room so you can both sleep in there.

You set up a couple more movies so they're ready to watch and leave to change into your pajamas. Apparently John doesn't have the decency to knock since he walks right in on you with nothing on but your tighty-whiteys. 

You turn to look at him, sensing him standing in the doorway. 

"Looking to get some choice Strider ass, Egbert?"

His body is rigid and his eyes wide as you make eye contact over your shoulder. You turn to face him completely and make a mock covering-up pose. 

"John, how dare you catch me so exposed like this! I'm such a virtuous lady, have you no shame?"

John doesn't laugh, he just stutters for a few seconds and leaves, slamming the door behind him. 

You wouldn't have thought it was a big deal until you realize that it's still awkward, even after the second movie. It gets even more surprising when half way through the third movie John of all people is pausing one of the movies that he brought with him.

"Dave. I need to ask you something."

You're surprised again at how forward he is. What the fuck is going on?

"Uh, what's up bro? You feeling okay? Are you so desperate to hear some more of my sick fires that you just couldn't wait until the end of the movie?"

"Dave. I saw... Why are there scars on your arms and legs?"

Blank.

There's no way to react.

You feel a cold sweat break out all over your body.

The scars burn as if they were burned into your skin, not cut with a razor by your own hand.

"Dave?

"Did your... Did your brother do that to you when you guys were strifing?"

"No!"

You feel sick. 

Your stomach is rolling and pushing its contents up your throat.

You're going to be sick.

This isn't happening.

"Dave... Did- Did you do them?"

John's voice is so soft. Nearly a whisper.

"Fuck you!"

"Dave, it's okay!"

You realize you're standing but you don't remember when you decided to.

"No it's not, go away! Fuck you, John!"

He reaches for your wrist but you're gone, hidden in your room, safe behind closed doors and hollow walls.

He runs into your door trying to chase after you.

"C'mon Dave! It's okay! It's okay..."

He sinks to the floor on the other side of your door, his back against it in the same position as you.

Two boys, separated not by a door, but two different worlds.

There's just silence to keep you company.

Nothing is said for a long time. You're nodding off to sleep when you hear him speak so quietly that you could've imagined it.

"Why? Why would you do that to yourself, Dave?"

You press your cheek against the door in the most ironic manner.

"Because it was an ironic opportunity that just could not be passed up."

You chuckle humorlessly.

John doesn't respond.

"John?"

He hums to let you know he's listening. Sounds like he's falling asleep too.

"There are these kids at school... They're jealous of how cool I am, I guess. 

"They tell you that words don't hurt, that only sticks and stones do. That's the biggest piece of bullshit I've ever heard, and with Bro around I hear a lot of bullshit."

John hums again in agreement.

"There was other shit too, of course. Bro being an ass and not being around emotionally, not having the homelife everyone else did, all my friends- well, the real ones- living miles away from each other. Really the whole thing was just some big soap opera starring none other than yours truly.

"I guess it didn't really start until after..."

You realize where you're going with that sentence and stop.

"Dave?"

John prompts after a while.

"Nevermind. It's not important."

You huff and stand, opening the door. John falls and looks up at your from the ground.

"Hi."

He grins at you from the ground.

"Dork."

"You're one too, you jerk."

You roll your eyes. You can't believe you actually expected him to treat you differently.

You're really glad he doesn't.

You offer John your hand and help pull him to his feet. His eyes linger on your upper arms where some fresher, red lines are exposed. His lips grow taut but he doesn't say anything.

Oops.

"Why didn't you say anything to any of us?"

You let go of your temper and oops, there it goes!

"Because you were all busy! Rose was starting her relationship with Kanaya, Jade wouldn't understand because she lives alone on an island for Christ's sake- not that I'd want to worry her anyways- and you were busy too!"

"What?! What was I busy with?!"

"Vriska."

You spit her name at him disdainfully. Not only did she break his heart like you told him she was going to, but he just wasn't there when you needed him. He was always offline and, when you actually got to talk to him, his mind was elsewhere. 

You know as soon as you've said the name you've made a mistake. He immediately gets not only hurt that you'd bring her up, but riled up. It's a silent agreement between the four of you to not bring her up. She's taboo. Still a sore subject for all of you. It wasn't a good time for anyone.

"Well it's not like you didn't have a girlfriend too! You ditched me plenty of times for Terezi!"

"Maybe because you weren't there for me and she was! Besides, she was there for me in ways you couldn't be!"

Your eyes are wide when you realize what you've said; you hope he doesn't pick up on the way you meant it.

"Well maybe I wasn't there for you because I didn't want to talk to you! Maybe that's because I was trying to get over you, you dumbass!"

John doesn't even realize what he's said; he's just standing there and huffing, his face an admittedly adorable (ironic) red.

You've gone still, everything just going out of you.

So he was jealous of Terezi, just like you were of Vriska then?

John's confused, he doesn't even know. Oh my god, he doesn't even know.

"Dave? What-"

He's replaying what he said in his head, you can see it happening on his face. And then-

"Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I can't believe I- I didn't even- oh my god. Oh my god. Dave, I... Oh my god, I'm so sorry, oh my god."

His clear voice dissolves into "oh my gods" muttered behind his face-shield of his hands.

"John."  
You're laughing. You're laughing.  
"John, come here."  
You walk up to him and he tries to turn away, still muttering. You wrestle him toward you and his hands down away from his face.

"Hey, it's okay. John. Jesus christ, stop. John, it's okay, it's really okay."

You're still laughing somehow, how are you laughing?

You just can't help but pap his face with your hand, he's just too fucking cute.

He stops squinting and looks at you from behind his big dorky glasses.

You just can't help but kiss him, right on the lips.

John's motionless. 

Your can feel your heart unironically sink. You try to pull away but John wraps his fucking hulk-strength arms around you to keep you from moving. You make a confused sound and then that's it, he's kissing you back and everything feels more than just right- Everything feels perfect.

Eventually the two of you have to separate, and you rest against each other's foreheads. 

"Wow."

"I know. I'm just that great."

John snorts and you stare at his lips.

You'd really like to do that again.

"Dave-!"

He squeaks when you press your lips to his again.

"Dave!"

"Hm?"

"How's this gonna work?"

You stop for a minute and look into his eyes. His deep blue eyes tell you he's worried.

"How do you want it to work?"

"Well. You're my best friend. And I don't want what we have to change."

"Okay. So it won't."

You lean back in to kiss him but he dodges you.

"But Dave-"

"John."

You stare each other down for a moment. 

"Okay."

You knock glasses when you both lean in again and laugh. John slides your sunglasses to the top of your head, smirking the self-satisfied grin that you're so familiar with.

"Shut up." You grumble, knocking his shoulder with your hand.

He jumps and wraps his legs around your hips, making you grunt.

"Fuck dude, what do you eat?"

"Don't be such a dick."

John’s head makes an audible click against yours, followed by a sharp pain in your forehead that makes John laugh. 

"Hey, you little-"

You're cut off with another kiss. 

Fuck. He's making you breathless.

You make your way into the living room carefully before flopping on the couch, crushing John beneath you.

"Hey!"

Your teeth flash in a wicked grin as you scramble to get on top of him.

"I'm Dave Strider and I'll be your server tonight. You'll be getting revenge with a side of plush ass."

"Wha- Ow! Dave!"

John struggles to shake you off of him, or at least to get your hand off of where it pinched his ass.

"Yes, sir Egbert? How may I help you tonight?"

"Ugh, Dave! Get off me!"

"No can do sir. I'm under strict orders to not move from your person.

“Ever. Again."

You lean in close, adjusting yourself so you're straddling him and whispering in his ear.

He shivers, making you smile.

"Can I have a kiss then?"

"Ha, like I'm just going to _give_ you one, please-"

John takes a kiss for himself, engaging the two of you in a hot sloppy makeout.

"You know," John breathes, you lying on top of him and falling asleep to another rewatch of Ghostbusters. 

"Hm?"  
"I could get used to this,” He paused, enjoying the moment. “Oh, and Dave?"

"What, John?"

"I love you."

A small smile turns your lips up as much as they can when you're so tired.

"I love you too, John. Even if you are a prick sometimes."


End file.
